At least that's what the annual slogan is right?
At this time of year we all know the focus is on new goals or things we've tried and failed at in the past. Now you might assume that I'm going to suggest we do the same in our relationships but I'm not, at least its not that simple. Especially, because we also know the saying that "trying the same thing over and over expecting a different outcome, is the definition of insanity" (Einstein).
Instead, what I'm suggesting is that we consider something different if what we hope for is change. I'm going to use an example from my life to try and paint this picture...
People often ask; "spiritual or religious"?
Well, I consider myself both a spiritual and a religious person and I don't feel they are unique/exclusive of each other (but that's another topic). Anyhow, one way to look at my life is that I have been "blessed" to not have had to go get just any random job in my adult life, so far (knock on wood -not superstitious tho at least most of the time). I say "blessed" because most of my work has been something I've either been "called" to or something I've "chosen". Those things serve a very interesting discussion particularly when it comes to Brand Management/Coaching. However, not the reason for this Blog I only mention them as a backdrop to my point.
The connection to the spiritual piece is that, when I left my past career because of what was happening in my personal life, I kept saying; if God wants me to serve the world in any similar capacity to what I was called to previously - He would have to do something NEW it has to be different can't be the same type of work.
In the last few years my life, relationships & my spiritual journey have taken me to a place where I know now that in order for things to change around me - I had to change. Don't get me wrong we are always changing no doubt about that but I mean on a deeper level.
Years ago, I knew I needed space from our family business because I could not work with my Mother the way she does things. Since then I believe I have experienced change on that deeper level and so we are able to work together now (well most of the time) mostly because I am different. My point is that the newness we seek every year in order to see change in our lives, depends more on us internally* than things we do externally* in my experience. This applies even down to our exterior i.e. our bodies, looks, etc. It is not Black & White sometimes we need to start with our exterior to inspire the interior. We'll hopefully talk more about this in next week's Blog on Self Love. So in essence what I've come to understand about my statement above is...
The something NEW has to be ME from the inside out!
Therefore, it doesn't matter if the people, work, or situations are the same if we are changed!
Of course this doesn't mean that all the dynamics (or lack there of) in our relationships get solved because we are different. But it does mean that we can approach them in a new way, and we are more likely to get a new outcome.
So as we begin this 2019, I propose the same challenge to you as for myself always...
May we seek internal transformation, more than external change.
I hope you will comment, share & keep following.
Happy New Year - Sincerely,
KK.
Dear Brokenwingwarrior,
Thank you for the insightful comment.
I'm sorry it took me so long to respond I'm still learning how to use this platform!
The challenge of finding true self and allowing for a moment to embrace your discoveries, giving the confidence to surpass the need for external change... A challenge some will be afraid to accept and will choose to continue on the path of what they think they know. For the rest of us, we will accept this challenge and dive right in. The transition will be uncomfortable and it is more then likely that we will squirm in the efforts of achievement, but we will remain open. Listening and learning, we will discover that it is not the NEW that we seek, but the old that we ignored. As we reflect on all that has molded us we detach from th…